stories, lessons, and a lot of nonsense

Archive for October, 2008

good people

My parents always monitored who I was hanging around when I was growing up. They knew what I did not know. The reason you are known by the company you keep is because you generally fall into doing things with the people you hang around that you may not do otherwise. It could be good things that your good friends draw you into, but more often than not, it’s the stupid stuff you wouldn’t do on your own that friends convince you will be fun. I know I never would have sneaked outside to shoot toys with a BB gun without the encouragement of my friends, but then I never would have taken that sweet ride in the back of a cop car back to my friend’s house. So now I get it. Friends can make you do stupid things.

I’ll make enough mistakes on my own. I don’t need encouragement from anyone else to screw up, and I really don’t need to take the blame for someone else’s mistakes. If I keep company with other great, Godly people, I will be better for it. I think Jesus modeled this for us. Obviously, He didn’t surround Himself with good people to keep Himself from messing up, but He wasn’t noted for doing things to benefit Himself anyway. He was always doing things for us and modeling things that we could follow, cause He loves us. That’s why He’s in my inner circle. Actually, so is Josh. He was one of the ones that encouraged me to go outside with the BB gun. “It’ll be okay,” he said. Whatever. At least I didn’t shoot my eye out.

Do you keep an inner circle? Are you better at picking one than Ulysses S. Grant or perhaps Kwame Kilpatrick?

something political

I am part of the vast right wing conspiracy. This comic was just my sort of thing. God bless America.

Do you believe in miracles?

This question was made famous by Al Michaels, as he counted down the end of the Miracle on Ice. The 1980 US Olympic hockey team overcame insurmountable odds as they defeated the Russian powerhouse team. A group of college kids defeated the most dominate assemblage of professional hockey players the world had seen at that time (obviously, there have been several Red Wings teams that could have outplayed them since then). Disney made a movie about the event, in which Kurt Russel played Coach Herb Brooks. His character reminded me an awful lot of Mr. Dave Polderman, father of Josh Polderman.

I had the honor of being the best man in Josh’s wedding yesterday. The title phrase comes to mind. It’s a miracle that boy got married. Well, maybe not, but since I’ve been married for the last 7 years waiting for him to join the club, it does seem strange. I almost laughed when they were pronounced, “Mr. and Mrs. Josh Polderman.” It didn’t seem right. Well, Sarah and I are a bicycle again, because we lost our third wheel. Sigh.

Josh is awesome. He is the best friend not named Sarah Selph. Sorry, she beat you out. But you’re way up there! I’m sure Maureen will be happy and amused by you for years to come.

Congratulations, Poldermans.

interracial marriage

Did you know that you can find a verse in the Bible to support almost any insane belief you want to believe in. One such crazy belief is that interracial marriage is wrong. There are a variety of verses that are ripped out of context to support the belief, but none of it makes sense. I never really experienced much bias towards this issue until I lived in the south. Interestingly enough, MOST people do not have a huge problem with all interracial relationships. They just don’t like blacks and whites being together. But being married to an Asian does have its own set of bias viewpoints that come along with it.

Here are some things I’ve learned about Sarah and I through others’ wisdom:

  1. Sarah must speak Korean and know karate.
  2. I must have been in the Navy, stationed in Okinawa.
  3. I moved her whole family here from Asia to live with us. That must be a normal dowry.
  4. Sarah is a mail ordered bride. It only happened once, but I was seriously asked one time if that was how I met her. If I were ordering a bride from a catalogue, and she were in there, I would pick her. I think this is a clear indication that the person asking knew Sarah was way out of my league, and the only way to nab her would have been to order her.
  5. And, of course, she is Japanese. We thought for the longest time she was Korean, but there is video evidence to the contrary. Our wedding tape clearly shows that she is Japanese.

Office Pranks

Anyone who watches the Office knows that a good prank makes an otherwise boring day a little more tolerable. Whose day wouldn’t be enhanced by finding their stapler in a jell-o mold? I laughed when it happened to me. Of course, that stapler is now unusable, so it sits on its side, next to my Michael and Dwight bobble heads, displaying my Assistant Regional Manager status to all who come in my office.

A certain swan candy dish has been making its way around the office here. When it went MIA for a week, it was replaced by an evil looking cabbage patch doll. I was impressed with myselph when I put a big pair of sunglasses on it and stuck it in Nicole’s driver seat. Why don’t people lock their doors? But alas, I have been outdone. My wife is good friends with the enemy, and they have conspired against me. I was going to grab a pillow last night, so I could lay comfortably on the couch and be bored by Sportscenter, when I noticed something was under the blanket. I put my hand on it to see what it was. I thought it was one of our animals, but it wasn’t. I pulled back the blanket and found that satan doll in my bed. This was a well played move. I was impressed. That alone was a solid prank. But that wasn’t the end of it. I pulled back the shower curtain to heat up the water this morning, and there sat the swan dish, right on the faucet. I had been hit with both in my own house.

These will be hard to top, but they will be. I will wait a while, but I’m coming back strong. In the meantime, if you work at New Hope, you should be keeping an eye out. One or both cherished items may be sneaking in your office soon. Aren’t you glad we all have the same office key?

when God makes you uncomfortable

Our dog, Jaysian, is funny. She looks more like Master Splinter than a dog, but she’s our dog, and we do love her. Like most dogs, she loves running around outside. I have been dedicating ten minutes or more every morning lately to walking her before I go to work. She loves to run around a little before she stops for a bathroom break. That’s not how it happened on Thursday, though. I opened the back door to let her outside, and as she hit the grass, she stopped. The ground was cold, wet, and perhaps even frost covered. It looked like frost, but I didn’t venture out to feel if it was. She is from Florida and has never experienced anything like this. After shaking for a few seconds, she decided not to sniff out a good place to go. After she peed, she walked three or four steps, and she stopped to finish with the rest of her business. Again, she did not feel the need to sniff out a good spot. As soon as she finished, she turned and darted for the door. We were done with our morning walk in less than two minutes. I commented to Sarah as I walked back in that she was ready to go as soon as she felt the grass, cause she didn’t like how it felt. And then it hit me…

Our dog decided to go, because she was uncomfortable. She did not enjoy where she was, and she wanted to get out of there ASAP. Sometimes God has to make us uncomfortable in order to get us to go, too. If I were completely comfortable in my last position, I suppose I wouldn’t be at New Hope. If everything were sunshine and roses for me, I would have been content to stay. Things were not so sunny for me a lot of times, and I began to get mad at God. I couldn’t understand how He could allow so much agony when I was trying to do right by Him. I guess He just needed to shake me up a bit, so He could change my views. I basically had to get ticked off before I could make a decision to go in a whole new direction. Mission accomplished.

No great revolution has ever been started by a group of content people. Are you willing to be revolutionary, or would you rather be comfortable the rest of your life?

for young men only…

Okay, so the title says “for young men only,” but I understand that most of my readers do not fall into that category. Do I have any young men that read my blog? I’m suddenly curious. Well, feel free to keep reading, if you are a slightly outdated man or a woman of any age. Now I’m pretty sure that all the women that read my blog are young women. Right? Right. Hey, stupid, what are you getting at? Oh, thanks for bringing me back on track. I was distracted. for young men only is the title of a book I’m reviewing today. It said it was “a guy’s guide to the alien gender,” so I figured it had to be worthwhile. I thought I had a chance to learn something, but alas, these guys don’t know anything that another married guy doesn’t already know. Shoot! But if I had had this book when I was a teenager, I would have known just enough to be dangerous.

These two guys (Jeff Feldhahn and Eric Rice) set out to learn what goes on inside a woman’s head. It is a worthy venture, but I like my chances of finding Noah’s ark a little better. In their quest, they asked over 1,000 girls some very deep questions. They didn’t just ask homemade jumper wearing church girls, either. I get the impression they asked good girls, bad girls, and even girls who wore pants instead of skirts and dresses. Say it ain’t so! Now, they couldn’t ask all the questions, become some of them pertained to sex. I am not a dad, but I’m 99.9% sure that if a strange man started interviewing my pretend daughter, and the questions included sexually driven questions, his book would never be written. His eulogy, however, would be lovely. So they enlisted the help of their wives.

Throughout the book, they give wisdom to young men that is contrary to what they are taught. The world often portrays life and relationships in a way that is very different than the norm. Women do not want what TV says they want (or should I say that ladies don’t…). They teach young men about themselves, about girls, about treating them right (which seems to be a lost art), about a proper perspective of sex, and what a real take home to the parents guy is like. I loved that last chapter. I felt like I was reading a short biography about myselph.

In the end, I would recommend reading the book if you have a son, are single, or your wife can’t stand you. Ladies, you shouldn’t read the book, because it is for young men only. Sorry, those are the rules. You can get the book at Family Christian if you are interested, or even better, just bug Leslie at the New Hope bookstore, and she can order it for you. I’d give you my copy, but I already gave it to Tom.


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