Everyone’s always blaming the Grinch for stealing Christmas. It’s an easy accusation to make, cause he’s repugnant. He’s so ugly. And yet, there are other perpetrators of Christmascide that go unpunished. They do not carry the sickly assocations that Mr. Grinch is left to carry on his own. Why? Because some Christmas killers are cute, furry, gentle creatures. See the pictures above. They look innocent enough, but they have killed Christmas. The fat one, on the left, persists on climbing our fake Christmas tree. It was cute last year, when he weighed 3 pounds, but that husky beast is 12 pounds at least, and the branches cannot take it. The bottom branches now all point to the ground. He has bent the metal arms. Shame on Mojo. The chewer, pictured at the right, has taken it upon herself to make our tree a non-working pre-lit Christmas tree. Before she got her paws – and teeth – on our tree, it would light up on its own. That is very handy, and it saves us time in decorating. No more, says Jaysian. She took it upon herself to chew the plug off the wire. At least she was smart enough to unplug it before executing her plan.
The Grinch is innocent. Leave him be. The real shame is on the cute, cuddly little animals…who have killed the Selph family Christmas this year.