Being called into ministry is one of the greatest things that has happened in my life. Not everyone can say that they get paid to do what they want. If I inherited enough money that I never had to work again, I’d still be the youth and children’s pastor at KCC. I’d just be pro bono. So if you’re looking for a way to bless KCC financially, maybe you would consider giving me millions of dollars.
At different times throughout my very early teen years, I thought that maybe I should go into ministry before God ever called me, because it was kind of trendy in our youth group – it would increase my status – but since God never said anything, I let it go. I still remember when I first heard God telling me that He did, in fact, want me in His employ. I remember our conversation well. Initially, I wasn’t into the idea of taking a youth pastor’s salary, because I had my heart set on being a successful, wealthy lawyer. Once I accepted that He wanted me to be a youth pastor, I began to get nervous. I wasn’t nervous about any of the hardships I would experience if I made it to the pastorate, though. I was a young teenager and had no idea that I should be expecting that, anyway. I was nervous about never making it. I wanted to see if my calling would dissipate like a fart on a windy day, or if it had staying power.
I had noticed an odd occurrence in others’ lives: God called a lot of people in my youth group to ministry, but He always changed His mind when they got to college, so I thought it was a real possibility that this could happen to me. So even though I was mostly convinced it was God that had told me to be a youth pastor, I stayed silent. I didn’t want to go in front of the church and admit what I was thinking. I didn’t want to be applauded and turned into a rock star for a day. Wait, I would have been a southern Gospel star for the day, because I would have been popularly received. I really didn’t want to come home from college with a new major and hear, “What happened? I thought God called you into ministry.” So it took me over a year to tell anyone other than my parents. I think my pastor knew I wanted to go into ministry, anyway. I’m sure my dad told him, because he’s a proud dad.
I wish I had never been afraid of my calling. I wish I could have felt free to tell everyone. I wish I would have known God’s voice well enough to never doubt it was Him. But I have never wished for my chance to go back and go in front of the church.