stories, lessons, and a lot of nonsense

I see what you did there. You clicked on this and started reading, because you think I’m going to say something sensational about women causing all of the world’s troubles. You might have thought I was going to blame Eve for bringing Adam down as my Biblical example. Didn’t you? It’s okay to admit it. That’s not what I’m talking about, though. In fact, most of our (Sarah and my) troubles are mostly my fault. I wouldn’t be the right guy to write on his wife bringing him down. I want to talk about an odd notion that seems to be prevalent – at least more prevalent than it should be, since 1 or more people believe it – among Christians that makes absolutely no sense to me. Thanks to MPT at Jesus Needs New PR, I had the pleasure of viewing Pat Robertson expound this odd notion. Watch the video, and then we’ll discuss.

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more about “Pat Robertson tells woman whose husba…“, posted with vodpod

Pat isn’t the only one spreading this message of good news and make yourself hotter. Sarah attended a women’s Bible study once – once was more than enough. She almost left early – at a church we attended in Florida. That day in particular, they were studying the book of Ruth – surprise! – and they were talking about Ruth attracting Boaz. She made herself attractive to him. Side note: I always thought this story was a little scary. If I were single, and a woman sneaked into my room while I was sleeping and laid by my feet to show her interest in me, I’d freak out. So Ruth’s making herself attractive to Boaz led to the meat of the discussion: it is a wife’s duty to make herself attractive to her husband. That sounds okay, I guess, just as a husband would want to be attractive to his wife sounds okay. But it went beyond that. Here’s what Sarah learned:

  • You are in competition with the women your husband works with. They dress nice for work and wear make up.
  • If you do not make sure to get dressed up, made up, hair did, etc. before he gets home, he’ll just miss the women at work.
  • Besides, after a long, hard day at work, your husband deserves to see you made up, not looking all shabby in your sweats.
  • If you make a habit of being not made up, he will start flirting. He may even cheat on you.
  • His adultery will be at least partially your fault, because you failed to look pretty.
  • To further prevent adultery, you should never tell him, “no.” It doesn’t matter if you are sick or tired or have any other trouble.

At least they didn’t go as far as old Pat and tell Sarah “not to hassle him.” They also didn’t make any guarantees of my fidelity for me. Still, Sarah was more than a little put off. I heard all about it when she got home. I was equally offended. What a stupid implication. I don’t have a requirement for Sarah. She doesn’t have to be dressed to a specific standard when I get home. She hardly ever wears make-up (one advantage to being as naturally beautiful as her). She does pull her hair up in a pony tail a lot. It’s easier that way with Jakob. If I get home from work today, and she’s still in her pajamas from last night, has her hair pulled back, and isn’t wearing make up, my heart will leap. I will hug her and kiss her. I will tell her that I missed her, that I love her, and that I am happy to see her, and I will mean it. No woman at any job I’ve had has ever stood a chance – not on their best day, and not on Sarah’s worst day – because I love Sarah and see that she is more beautiful on her worst day than anyone I have ever met.  There is no competition.

Couple this line of thinking with the idea that if a man checks you out, it’s your fault for dressing that way, and I’m just plain confused. If they don’t dress attractively, their husbands might flirt and/or cheat, but if they do, they will cause someone to ogle them. It’s a lose-lose.  I guess sometimes Christian wives can’t catch a break from some people.


Comments on: "why does it always have to be the wife’s fault?" (2)

  1. All I can say is thank you. Great thought provoking post.

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