Being a wife cannot be easy. Almost every married guy I know drives his wife crazy to some extent. Being a wife and mom only complicates things. I know it is tiring. When I come home from work, Sarah’s always more tired than me. Her job is more demanding on most days. Just because it doesn’t come with a paycheck doesn’t mean staying home with a two year old isn’t hard labor.
If being a wife is difficult, then imagine the added stress of being a pastor’s wife. There are a lot of burdens and hurts that no one knows she carries. If a heavy burden is laid on me at work, for the most part, I can go home and talk it out with Sarah. Most people in most instances allow me to do that. So she carries what I carry along with me. Then there are times I cannot tell her what I’m dealing with, because the matters are very private, but she knows something’s there. She can see it in my demeanor. If I am hurting for someone else, she will see it and hurt for me. She just doesn’t know what’s hurting. Then who does she go to with these hurts? This is why I try to keep her out of what I’m doing. I don’t want her to hurt, but she persists to be there for me.
For the most part, my schedule is a standard schedule. I have office hours. I can come and go as I need. The biggest difference between my job’s hours and most others is that my busiest day is Sunday, and then I don’t work Monday. But then there’s the fall when I go to lots of sporting events to support the athletes in youth group, spring when I go to lots of musicals to support the thespians, and Summer when I go away on trips and activities. There are also emergency times when someone needs me, and I either have to be on the phone, come home very late, or leave unexpectedly. All these times turn Sarah into a single mom for the day. If something happens, and I cannot come home till 9 or 10 at night, she’s got Jakob for all that time. And he’s two. And he doesn’t nap for long, if at all. And it’s rarely expected. She adapts on the fly to what can become my hectic schedule.
She shares my burdens. She adapts to my schedule. She ministers silently to people who will never know that she is caring for them. She works behind the scenes, encouraging me, making me stronger, and helping get my mind right so I can go back out and do it all again. She prays for the church. She supports the church. She ministers quietly to the church. She is a pastor’s wife. October is Pastoral Appreciation Month. You shouldn’t forget to appreciate the ones that minister most often to the ministers, though. I appreciate her. I love her.