I recently watched the new Winnie the Pooh movie on DVD. I realized a couple of things. First, I really like Pooh. I should say that I really like Tigger. Pooh is okay. Second, the cast of the 100 Acre Woods reminded me of Facebook. Each of the characters reminded me of a different type of chronic status updater. I will reveal my findings/mind wanderings below, and you can see where you fit in. You might identify with more than one. I know I do. I’m a Kanga and a Tigger. That sounds weird. Just in case you were thinking about getting offended, I’m probably not making fun of you. This post has nothing to do with anyone in particular.
Owls are symbolic of wisdom, and s Owl goes around educating all of his friends. The Facebook Owl always updates with pithy statements. There are original Owls and borrowed Owls. The original Owl is a deep thinker, and they share their deeply drawn conclusions with the social masses. The borrowed owl just quotes the original Owls. C.S. Lewis is an original Owl, and several borrowed Owls quote him all day.
He likes animals. He’s also a nurturer. Ever notice how much he cares about those pretend animals, especially Pooh? Facebook Christopher Robin leaves random notes of encouragement on people’s walls, comments on sad statuses to offer his presence in case needed, and probably posts pictures of his pets a lot.
Kanga’s a parent. She loves her kid. I’m assuming if she had a Facebook, she would constantly post statuses and pictures of Roo all day. One of Jakob’s nicknames is Roo (yes, one of…Sarah calls him many things). I’m a Kanga.
He’s a little kid, for crying out loud. He just wants to play. So on Facebook, Roo is that kid with a Facebook that you know shouldn’t have one. Aren’t they too young to have one? And they constantly want you to send them petting zoo and aquarium gifts. Actually, Roos can come in any age when it comes to that. Sending too many (like one or more) game requests can make you a Roo.
Tigger thinks everything he’s doing is awesome. He’s always excited about it, like it’s the next big thing. On Facebook, he would use lots of exclamation points, use the word awesome a lot, and post often. If he were to grow up and get a job, he’d probably be a youth pastor, because we think everything we’re involved in is the greatest thing ever.
You know Eeyore, and when you hear his name, you automatically think of someone. He’s always down in the mouth. Even on his best day, there’s something to get him down. And so on Facebook, Eeyore’s status updates are pretty consistently downers. Everyone has at least one on their friends list.
Pooh is obsessed with honey, and he kind of wants everyone else to provide it for him when he runs out. He is the 99%. Couldn’t resist. Anyway, he’s always updating about food. He talks about what food he’s about to eat, what he just ate, what he wishes he had, and he always checks in whenever he’s at a restaurant.
Piglet is a bid of a scaredy cat. He’s always worried about worst case scenarios. He’s always terrified of the monsters that may or may not roam the 100 Acre Woods, and he does whatever he needs to stay safe. He also reposts statuses and pictures that have the ominous words. If chain statuses are true, he’s safe. If he loves Jesus, he’s reposting, so God doesn’t mistakenly think he doesn’t. 99% of you won’t repost this spam about Facebook charging? Piglet is.
Rabbit is a funny character to me. He’s always annoyed with someone (usually Tigger), and he doesn’t mind sharing it. If he were online, he’d be posting statuses about how annoyed he is. He’d probably be passive aggressive about it, too. “You think you’re so cool? Well, you don’t matter to me. Just GTO (<– edited for content).” Who? Who are you talking to? Come on, Rabbit!
So who are you? I’m Kanga and Tigger, like I said. I think lots of things are awesome that I’m updating about, especially when it’s my son, Jakob (who goes by Roo).