stories, lessons, and a lot of nonsense

I’m going to a rap concert tonight.  I’m not going to Winter Jam, where a rapper might get 10-15 minutes of time to rap.  I’m going to a specifically rap concert, featuring Lecrae and Andy Mineo.  This may surprise you, but I used to be huge into rap.  I’ve seen Lecrae before, when he was an opening act for the Cross Movement concert I went to in Florida.  I was defensive about Christian rap, because I thought people didn’t give it its just due, so I wrote a post 6 years ago about that.  It has grown in popularity recently, and I’m happy for a lot of the artists that are doing well, but my passion for it had dwindled. But I’m excited to go tonight, because Jakob is excited to go tonight.  He has counted down the days on a white board at home for the last 18 sleeps.  When I was waking him up this morning, the first thing he said to me – before he could even muster up the energy to open his eyes – was that there were no more sleeps.  He would see Andy Mineo today.  I’m taking him and a teenager from youth group who earned the tickets by bringing her friends to youth group in October (S/O to Alex Madison!  Great job!), and I couldn’t be more excited to go, even if my love for rap had gone away.

Rap was no longer my thing, but Jakob’s happiness is, so now rap is once again.  I listen to it a lot, mostly when he is in the car with me.  I’ve learned the songs, and if no one other than Jakob is watching or listening, I even rap along with them.  I care about what my sons care about.  For Jakob, that means I care about the Incredible Hulk and rap music.  For Jaxon, that means I care about making the same silly noises over and over while he smiles, making bottles, and being spit up upon.  Although I am tired many times, and I would selfishly rather sit in my recliner and say and do nothing, I ultimately care more about what my kids want and need than what I want and need, sometimes at Sarah’s request.  She has to urge me to engage when my brain is tired, and so I do.

Do I wish all of their main interests were the lined up with everything I already liked?  Yeah, that would be great, and sometimes it is.  Star Wars is king in our house, even if Sarah has no interest.  I’m glad Jakob loves it like I do.  But Jakob and Jaxon are individuals.  Jakob likes what he likes, and Jaxon will soon have interests of his own.  I don’t need them to be exactly like me.  I don’t need them to give up what interests them to be into what interests me.  I think it’s more fitting for me to put aside what I like for what they like, because I love them, and I want to lead them as a servant.  Plus, I’ll still get to do what I like.  After all, I can always just watch sports or whatever else after they go to bed.  And I can eat ice cream for breakfast.  Because I am an adult, and you can’t stop me.


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