it was all worth it. and it will always be.
pregnancy was hard. i know compared to some, i have nothing to complain about. and, seeing as how God’s provided a beautiful, smart, perfect baby boy through some of the most trying months of my life, i really have nothing to complain about at all. Jakob, my angel, was born early in the morning (7.48a, to be exact) on september 10, 2009. in 4 days, he will be 20 months old. through Jakob, i now know how strong a mother’s love is. and, the blessing and best part of it all is, i know how strong a child’s love is for his mommy. [and, respectively, his/her daddy.] what did i have to do to get a little boy, who runs into many people who all care greatly for him each week, to find a best friend in me?? be his best friend. spend time w/him. do things he likes to do. make him laugh. hold him when he’s sad or hurt. share food together. read to him. let him read to me. let him teach me how beautiful God’s natural innocence in children is. loving him is natural. part of it is from the natural bond we made when he was in utero. although, not all of it. i’m adopted, and my mama loves me just as much as she would if she’da carried me. it’s the mother-son bond (well, not in my mom’s and my case). it’s very special, and different from even a father-son bond.
one of the scenes in the movie “Crash” beautifully illustrates the special bond of a parent with a child. being as i’m now a mother and i see things differently than before i was, it has quickly become my favorite movie scene of any i’ve seen. fortunately, i’ve found a clip of said scene, because i do not think i could do it justice to just describe it.
in this scene, Daniel is assuaging his daughter, Lara, after a stray bullet went through her window. he tells her a story of how he acquired an impenetrable invisible protection cloak, and it has protected him from harm since he was 5. he tells her he was supposed to give it to his daughter when she turned 5, so she could be wrapped in it’s safety.
it’s amazing the faith a child has in his parent. the child wants comfort and loves his parent so much, he hangs on his every word, and believes each one. and the love in a parent’s voice when comforting his child is unmistakable.
later on in the movie, a persian man, Farhad, who wrongfully believes he was robbed by Daniel, seeks vengeance, and tries to shoot him. Lara, seeing this, runs out to save her father because he no longer has the protective cloak. [be forewarned, there is brief strong language in this clip.]
Lara was not thinking of herself. in faith of what her father told her about the cloak, she ran in between Farhad and her father to protect him, believing herself to be invincible. she tells her mother afterward, “it’s okay, daddy’s ok”, not realizing she put herself in danger of losing her life. [it was not mentioned in the clip, but Farhad’s daughter had bought blank rounds for her father’s gun for fear something like this would happen.]
i felt both unspeakable sadness watching this, and at the same time, gratefulness that i’m able to have an indescribable relationship with my very own child; God forbid something like that ever happen. all that being said, yes. i would die for Jakob in a second.
happy mother’s day to all the ladies out there who have the distinct pleasure of being called “mommy”.